Broccoli for Breakfast

and other Ramadan Stories

Hilal Sala

If the brain and belly are
burning clean

with fasting, every moment
a new song

comes out of the fire.

The fog clears,
a new energy makes you

run up the steps in front of you.

...When you fast

Good habits gather like friends

who want to help

- Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi

The first time I ever heard of Ramadan was in 1972. I was attending one ofthe first SIRS Sufi Camps in Healdsburg, California. A group of people fromArizona were there who were observing these practices. Their presence inprayer touched my heart and never left me. In 1983 my son and I became summerresidents at the Lama Foundation in New Mexico. One early dawn I heard theCall to Prayer drifting through the sighing of the pines. It entered my heartlike a wake-up call and sent me down the path to a secluded part of Lama.There in the Intensive Study Center I found a group of people living togetherto pray, read Qur'an and fast for the month of Ramadan. They invited us tojoin in.

We moved into a tiny cell and into a most gracious and beautiful experiencethat has fed me ever since. It is amazing to see how this fasting for Allah is actually deep nourishmentfor several months, a year and more. Slowly, slowly, led by my yearning heart,I have come to anticipate this yearly event as it passes through all theseasons, following a lunar cycle. That first for me was in mid-summer andnow it is in mid-wintereach year has a unique quality.

This year in San Francisco I am thankful for clear skies in the morningsto see the waning moon. Each day it gets smaller, more fragile and its risingis in competition with the sun, until that last thread of a crescent is sonearly overwhelmed by the dawn. I shiver in anticipation of the darkenedmoon and the waiting until it emergesa reversed mirrored crescent in theevening sky. Searching the sky for this sign is the first event that marksthe beginning of the mystic month of Ramadan.

It takes about 12 hours, from the moment the new moon is born, for it tobe visible in the afterglow of the sunset and the gathering twilight. Andif it is cloudy I wonder if any moon-gazing group in our time zone will seeit. Phone lines buzz and busy signals bleep as we check in our modern versionof tribal drumbeats and cannons exploding to announce the sighting of thenew moonthe beginning of this month of fasting from before the first lightof dawn until the sun sets.

"If a person does not give up
falsehood and false conduct during
the fast, Allah does not need
his hunger and thirst"

 - Bukhari, Tradition of the Prophet

It's here! A voice from our little mosque confirms the sightings in L.A.,Colorado, Atlanta, to name a few. I am to begin fasting at dawn and joinplanet-wide with a billion or so others who seek nearness to Allah by observingthe fast. In the fragile glimmering of the new moon, a powerful practicebeginsits yearly rhythm returns as a welcome friend, a mighty force for changeand renewal, a reminder that my appetites are not in chargeI get to walkthe talk of submission.

I make more phone calls to waiting friends, Ramadan Mubarak "Blessings ofRamadan." It has begun! This greeting is exchanged over and over and theenthusiasm is contagious. There is something about sharing in a practicethat is over fourteen centuries old.

This is not something new. The One God has delivered the One Message throughthe millenia and each messenger has instructed his people in the practiceof fasting..."...for to fast is to do good unto yourself if you but knewit." (Qur'an 2:184) That's where the faith comes in. For the love of AllahI make my inner intention (niyat) to fast each day; for the love of AllahI embrace hunger and thirst and loss of sleep; for the love of Allah I surrenderto this obligation praying to increase my hunger and thirst for Allah. Andin this process I get to do my own inner jihad with the nafs at all stages:with the commanding self and the proud self; the angry self and the blamingself. For as it says in the Tradition of the Prophet Mohammad (may the peaceand blessings of Allah be upon him): "If a person does not give up falsehoodand false conduct during the fast, Allah does not need his hunger and thirst."(Bukhari)

So the rhythm of Ramadan sweeps me up from comforts, tosses aside habitsand leaves me parched and empty in the lengthening shadows of the late afternoon.Feeling raw and vulnerable to confrontations and cranky responses, with noouter cave for protection, the breath gets slower and deeper. With each pangof discomfortRemember: Allah. Remember: there are many people much more intimatewith real starvation who have no hope of an evening meal. Remember: theincredible abundance we all take for granted. Remember: this emptiness isa blessing, a hollow accommodation for clarity. Remember: we are all unitedin Allah's Mercy.

As the sun sinks below the horizon I prepare to break the fast with waterand dates. "Bismillah. Ya Allah, I fast for You. I trust in You and You aloneand I break the fast with Your abundant gifts." The sweetness of the firstsips of water flows into my body, which sighs gratefully. Alhamdulillah!We give thanks to Allah for all His support in helping us to complete anotherday of fasting.

One thing I always notice with surprise is how easy some things are in thismonth. It's always easier to get up in the very early morning. I feel likethere is a Presence helping, offering extra support and protection. It isalmost impossible to oversleep even when the night is too short. Eating soearly in the morning is totally weird for me, but this year I have discoveredbroccoli for breakfast! It seems to be just what my body needs. I learn alot about intention during Ramadanrenewing it every day is essential andI'm seeing that whatever I do consistently, with intention, has a long-termeffect. As a co-worker noted, "...I'm interested in how this changes you..."That to me is the yardstick. If it's not changing meit's not real.

Every year I get stripped down, reduced to rawness, by fasting for Allah,and nourished by extra prayers and study. I get to return to a more naturalstate and rhythm where intimacy with Allah is all there is. The Feast atthe end of Ramadan is called the Eid al Fitraa celebration of returning toour true nature. Now, as we await the sighting of the new moon, there issome sadness and apprehension, knowing that some things will be harder again.I will miss the wake-up calls, the heightened sensitivity, the sunset gatheringswith friends to break the fast, pray, and eat together, the deep sharingjustby a glance from one exposed soul to anotherand the protection that surroundsus. But I also feel stronger as I step back into the rhythms of the world.The drum-beat of truth is a little louder in my heart, the guardian againstidle gossip and anger is more present to show another way, and I can stillhave broccoli for breakfast and Remember.